Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu took their censers, put fire in them, and added incense; and they offered unauthorized fire before the Lord, contrary to his command. So fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. Moses then said to Aaron, “This is what the Lord spoke of when he said:
“‘Among those who approach me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.’”
Aaron remained silent.
Leviticus 10:1-3 (NIV)
This act showed disrespect for God’s holiness by disregarding His specific instructions for priestly service. As a result, the fire consumed them, and they died. Their father, Aaron, was silent, but like any parent, he grieved the loss of his sons.
Calamity can come to the guilty and the innocent. What practical response can we give to those experiencing loss? Here are five things we should NOT do in seasons of grief:
- Don’t compare. When someone tells you their pain, don’t bring up yours.
- Don’t complain. Do not suggest to someone who has lost everything that you lost anything.
- Don’t answer; folks want to vent and rage; your reply should be silence.
- Don’t leave. Nothing replaces physical presence.
- Don’t critique. People cry, scream, swear, etc.; ditch your sensitivities.
There are five helpful responses to practice when friends face tragedy:
- Show up. Be with people who are hurting today, next week, next year.
- Stay up. Friends in pain can’t sleep; darkness alone is doubly hard.
- Shut up. Keep pious platitudes to yourself.
- Pay up. Take out your wallet and pay the tab – your friend will appreciate it, even if they don’t say so.
- Keep up. Lose your schedule, routine, and expectations; be available for your friends in crisis.
Throughout history, catastrophes of various kinds have often been the start of religious revivals. While this may be good news, it does not console us at the time. But history can alter our view of the future.
The history of Jesus’ suffering – the greatest catastrophe in human history – gives us the greatest change through His salvation. (Heb. 2:14-18). Jesus’ suffering shows God’s ultimate care for human hurt. He remembers, and He wants to use us to bring comfort to those who are hurting around us.